Firstly, this goes out to my dearest PulKesh Kumar. I'm super sorry man! I'm sorry if I had said anything that pissed you off. Not much in a great mood that time. It sucks that I never see you online anymore. So afraid to even call you, afraid that you would ignore my call. Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me? I feel so guilty every time I see that key chain you sent me. ( I carry it with me all the time ) So basically, I always think of you! And I really hope you accept my apology. Sorry sorry sorry.
I don't really update my blog anymore because I don't think anyone reads it. At some point I think I share somewhat the same feelings one of my classmate feels. He thinks no one cares about him at all and it has been ages since we saw him in school. He happens to be the smart ones yeah! I started thinking a lot today. I had so many friends, friends who would stand up for me when people were mean to me. LOL. And when people tried to make fun of the slightest thing I did. Sometimes it can be funny, but sometimes it isn't. I think no one ever takes me seriously. The one person whom I shared so much with has started avoiding me. I'm not sure if its because of what I said, or because he simply doesn't come online.
Hectic times have already started. Christmas is coming. Time to make cookies, time to clean the house. And most importantly, church activities have started to weigh down on me. People at church just don't seem to co-operate with the programme and it gets on my nerve sometimes. And just when I feel like shouting, screaming and killing someone, I do the exact opposite. I just stay very very very quiet. A few people commented on this change of behavior. Yes it shows that I'm upset, but I convert it into something positive. You can't say I'm sensitive anymore. It's just that I choose to keep quiet to avoid saying the wrong things and hurt people. [ He who guards his lips guards his soul, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Pr. 13:3). ] So yeah, just zip it up.
God has been very amazing in my life. Even in the slightest issue. Example, it rained yesterday, my umbrella was wet, so I left it to dry. Forgot to fold it and keep it into my bag. This morning as I was leaving, I can swear, okay maybe not swear, but I can say that there was no wind, no one told me anything, and just like that my umbrella fell down onto the group. And it just hit me that I had to take it along. Sure enough it rained today =D Yes its a very small thing, and everyone would just say its coincidence, but it isn't. I'm sure.
I wanted to go to Metamorphosis Camp 09, 28th - 31st December. I knew there was no way I can raise $140 bucks. I knew I had many financial commitments, my insurance, church funds etc. And I told myself that this year, I'm just not going to go. Just not this year. Though I tried to put my faith in God, I just kept saying No, No No! And God says YES, YES, YES. I'm sure he wants me to go to the camp. I got a very impromptu call from Selina today and I met her and Mylene. I thought it was just casual chat, hi hello and catching up because its been 2 weeks since I went for PDA. And then they asked me why I couldn't go for META. I told them about Mummy not letting me go and a bit of the money issue as well. Am I damn pleased that the money issue is going to be sorted out! I get more time to save up, at least till META! And the rest of the money will be settled by the ministry. Aww. It really touched me how much these people tried to get me to go. I'm so sure it was God's plan. Even though Mummy has controlled my spending, I'm going to save as much as I can even if it means going without food for the next 6 weeks! And today, I'm going to talk to Mummy. I hope Mummy says YES! Oh META, here I come =D
I need to take a nap! Dead tired =D
I miss you PK =D
In His Love ♥,
Krishna Veni
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